Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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