I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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