is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
