Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
