Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize