playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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