tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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