i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
I met the friendliest cop last night
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Randomize
