heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I would fuck him just for his dog
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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