dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
the liver wants what the liver wants
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Randomize
