How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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