You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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