My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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