im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I just want to make out with him forever
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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