college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Randomize
