is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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