he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
