Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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