dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
