my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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