And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I will pee on everything he values.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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