yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
