Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
