Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Randomize
