I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
pop tarts are not kleenex
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I just gargled with NyQuil
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