YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Randomize
