I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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