I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I'm really busy with my period
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
