i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Randomize
