I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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