Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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