I must be too annoying 4 u.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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