She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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