we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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