Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
