can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Come see our sink grown plant.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
All I want is dick and wine.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
