I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
