so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize