Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize