I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize