Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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