Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
