So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
