I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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