there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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