Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
As shirtless as possible
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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