Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
