you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize
