omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
