kristin has been a bad kristin
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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