Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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