very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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