covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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