really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Randomize