i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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