I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
