It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
