We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
