thus making me awesome and them whores
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Randomize
